


Stomach Tied in Knots

by TheEmcee



Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 03:23:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/629808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEmcee/pseuds/TheEmcee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin has been pushing his feelings for Bilbo away ever since he fell in love with him. But not being able to be with the one he loves has been driving him insane and he decides to make his move. Thorin/Bilbo, very, very mild, barely even there Kili/Bilbo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stomach Tied in Knots

Stomach Tied in Knots

Thorin wasn’t sure what to think when he realized that he was in love with Bilbo Baggins. He was both surprised and happy at the discovery, but he also felt dread and uncertainty within him. They still had a long journey to the Lonely Mountain left yet and their current trek through Mirkwood was taking its toll on everyone. Food was scarce and spirits were dangerously low. But ever since Bilbo had demonstrated tremendous courage and selflessness when he saved Thorin’s life, the dwarf king’s mind often thought of the hobbit and that helped him through many nights of near hopelessness. 

Never before had he been drawn to another being. The intensity of his feelings frightened him and Thorin wasn’t exactly sure what to do. Oh, he knew what he could do and what he wanted to do. He wanted to embrace Bilbo and never let him go; he wanted to let everyone in the Company to know who the hobbit truly belonged to; and he wanted to drag Bilbo away from the party to a private, secluded area and make love to him from dusk until dawn. Thorin wanted to kiss every area on Bilbo’s lovely, little body and he never wanted to let him go. 

But what if Bilbo did not feel the same way about him? Thorin had, after all, treated him quite badly and said many harsh things to him before the hobbit had saved his life. He had tried to make up for it by treating Bilbo better, but whenever he thought that he was being too friendly and making his feelings far too obvious, he would retreat into himself and put distance between them, literally and figuratively.

...

Oh, my stomach’s tied in knots  
I’m afraid of what I’ll find if you and I talk tonight  
Oh, oh  
See, the problem isn’t you, it’s me  
I know  
I can tell  
I’ve seen it time after time  
And I’ll push you away  
Mm, I get so afraid  
Oh, no

...

No matter what whenever Thorin tried to push his feelings aside and bury them deep, they would always rear themselves high and mighty and take control of him. All too soon, he began to think less and less of Erebor and the Arkestone and more about the little hobbit turned burglar who had been forced into his life by Gandalf the Grey. While he never truly forgot Erebor, something he would never be able to do, Thorin found that Bilbo was taking over every waking thought he had. Not only that, but there have been a few times that Bilbo has appeared in his dreams, dreams filled with passion and love and naked flesh rubbing and stroking naked flesh. Waking up after one of those dreams was always uncomfortable and awkward, even more so when his silence and distress were noticed.

Balin, of course, had noticed a change in Thorin and the way he treated Bilbo. A dwarf his age, who had seen more things than Thorin had, had easily spotted Thorin’s affection for the hobbit. Thankfully, he never brought it up; he merely gave the would be king encouraging smiles and make comments that would help boost his confidence on the matter without actually bringing it up. 

Fili and Kili both noticed Thorin’s peculiar behavior as well. They weren’t exactly sure what was wrong, he knew that much, but they were concerned about him. However, they never pressed him on the issue; both of his nephews knew that he had no problem with clubbing them both if they got on his nerves. A few of the others in the Company began to pick up on the fact that something wasn’t entirely right, but whatever theories they had were never mentioned in Thorin’s presence, and for that he was grateful. 

Thorin had more than enough things to worry about, like what he was going to do about his feelings and if he should tell Bilbo about them or not. There were some times that he believed to see the same love and affection in the hobbit’s blue eyes for him that Thorin felt. However, there were some times that Bilbo appeared to be conflicted and nervous, even afraid. Surely he knew that there was nothing to fear; Thorin would never hurt him, not ever, not if he could help it. Bilbo knew that, didn’t he? Perhaps he was confused. More than likely, that was the case, but Thorin just did not know. He didn’t know how to even talk to the little one about it or how to bring it up and that truly frustrated him.

By the time he had been separated from the party and Bilbo and capture by Thranduil, Thorin knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to tell Bilbo how much he cared and loved him. He wanted to pull Bilbo into his arms and hold onto him tight. And he wanted the hobbit to love him back and to stay with him and not return to the Shire after they had reclaimed Erebor. But being thrown into the dungeon of the Elven King of Mirkwood caused Thorin to think that he would die without ever seeing his love again.

...

And I can’t live without you now  
Oh, oh  
I can’t even live with myself  
Oh, oh  
I can’t live without you now  
Oh, oh  
And I don’t want nobody else  
Oh, oh, oh  
I only have myself to blame  
But do you think we could start again?  
‘Cause I can’t live without you

...

It was after their escape from Thranduil’s dungeons and had made their way to the Lonely Mountain that Thorin noticed it.

He hadn’t told Bilbo about his feelings, not yet, because there was precious little time to reclaim home from the horrible dragon, Smaug, but he had planned to do so after they had taken back the Lonely Mountain. At least, that had been the plan. But now, something was causing him to rethink everything he had planned on doing when Smaug was vanquished.

Kili and Bilbo were getting close. Far too close for Thorin’s liking, if he were being entirely honest with himself. He first noticed it after they left Lake Town. His youngest nephew, who usually got alone with anyone, had been talking to Bilbo more so than usual and had been staying very close to him. Thorin didn’t like that. Not one bit. It got worse as they waited for Durin’s Day, so much so that Balin actually approached him and asked him about it.

“Thorin, a couple of the lads and myself have noticed that you’re…well, that you haven’t been in high spirits,” Balin said.

“Should I be? We have come far, endured so much, and when home is within our grasps, we must wait as we have been doing for far too long,” Thorin told him, knowing that he was taking his frustrations out on his friend. His anger and frustration were blinding him to the fact that he was merely using Balin as an outlet.

“I know that, sire, but we have made it. All that we need to do now is figure some way to kill Smaug and then Erebor will be ours again.” Thorin grunted and stared at Bilbo and Kili, who were talking quietly near the fire. Balin followed his gaze and he cleared his throat before speaking again.

“Or maybe your frustration has nothing to do with our home. Perhaps it has more to do with your nephew and Master Baggins getting so close.” Thorin should have known that Balin would have been watching and would have known what was going on. But that didn’t mean that he had to like it.

“And what if it does?” Balin sighed softly.

“I know that it’s not my place, but perhaps you should talk to Kili about this matter. He is your nephew after all and it would be difficult if you both began to court our burglar.” 

“I will not approach Kili on this matter.” 

“If you wish, I could speak to him for you.”

“No. Now, leave me be on this matter.” Balin nodded, bowed slightly, and returned to the fire, leaving Thorin to watch his nephew steal away the love of his life.

...

Oh, my stomach’s tied in knots  
I’m afraid of what I’ll find if I see you with him tonight  
Oh, oh  
See, the problem isn’t you, it’s me  
I know I do this every single time  
I push you away  
Oh, I get so afraid  
Oh, no  
And I can’t live without you now  
Oh, oh  
I can’t even live with myself  
Oh, oh  
I can’t live without you now  
Oh, oh  
And I don’t want nobody else  
Oh, oh, oh

...

Kili approached him a few nights after Thorin’s talk with Balin. He looked nervous and uncertain, but determined. As much as Thorin wanted to lash out at him and tell him that Bilbo was his and no one else’s, he didn’t. Above anything else, Kili was his nephew, his youngest nephew and the second youngest dwarf in the Company next to Ori, and he loved him dearly. And he knew that Kili would never do anything to hurt him, intentionally or otherwise. 

“Uncle?” Kili asked, his voice reflecting the emotions on his face.

“What is it, Kili?” Thorin asked, his voice soft and rough.

“I know of your feelings for Bilbo,” Kili said simply. Thorin turned to him, surprise evident on his face. Giving him a small smile, Kili added, “Balin explained things to me.”

“Did he now?” Honestly, Thorin could not blame him. The way he had been acting was embarrassing to his crown and dishonorable and it had created unneeded tension within the group.

“Yes and I just wanted you to know that Bilbo doesn’t care for me in that way,” Kili told him. Thorin’s eyes widened in surprise and Kili laughed softly, a small, sad smile on his face.

“I won’t lie to you. I care for Bilbo. But he doesn’t care for me, not like that. Someone else has caught his eye, someone I could never beat or surpass. Nor do I want to,” Kili admitted to him. 

Thorin was stumped. Truly, he was. Kili had told him that he had feelings for Bilbo but that Bilbo cared for another. Perhaps there was still time for him to tell Bilbo how he felt. But what if the hobbit cared for one of the others? Mentally shaking his head, Thorin pushed back his fear and uncertainty. He was the rightful King Under the Mountain; he had nothing to be afraid of. As a king, it was his responsibility, his duty, to stand proud and tall and make himself known. No longer would he allow his fear to prevent him from whatever he wanted, and what he wanted was Bilbo Baggins. 

“I apologize for the way I have been treating you, Kili. You did not deserve it,” Thorin told his nephew, placing a hand on his shoulder. They shared a small, brief smile.

“No apology was needed, Uncle. I understand how you must have felt.” Kili turned to leave, but he paused and looked back at his uncle. “Don’t let how you feel get in the way of what you want. I can tell you that it’s worth the risk.” With another smile, a brighter one, Kili joined Fili by the fireside. 

By the time he went to bed, Thorin had made up his mind that he would tell Bilbo that he loved him as soon as Smaug was defeated. And he also made up his mind that he would do whatever it took to make his hobbit happy. No matter what.

...

I only have myself to blame  
But do you think we can start again?  
I only have myself to blame  
But do you think we can start again?  
I only have myself to blame  
But do you think we can start again?  
I only have myself to blame  
Let’s start again, let’s start again.  
I can’t live without you…

...

The battle had been brutal, but victory was theirs. Smaug was dead and Erebor was theirs. But those victories had come at a terrible price. Many were dead or dying. His very own nephews, Fili and Kili, had been severely wounded. Had Thorin not been so injured himself, he would have gone to them and sat beside them to make sure that they were being attended to and that they would live to see another day. However, he was in no condition to move around and his mind was preoccupied with the still missing hobbit. 

Actually, his nerves were practically shot. Thorin had told numerous people numerous times that he wanted Bilbo by his side as soon as possible. Everyone told him that he was nowhere to be found, but he refused to believe that Bilbo had run off or had been killed in battle. If anything, his hobbit was clever and resourceful; he would have found a way to survive no matter what. Gandalf had even told Thorin that the search efforts may have been in vain. He flat out refused to hear it or to listen to it. Bilbo was alive and he was unharmed, of that, Thorin was sure of. His confidence in his hobbit never wavered.

Finally, finally, Bilbo was brought to him and, aside from a bump on his head and a headache, he was unharmed. For the first time in a long time, Thorin’s blue eyes were clouded by tears. Even though it pained him to do so, Thorin lifted himself up and reached out to touch Bilbo’s cheek. His skin was as soft and as warm as he had dreamed and Bilbo leaned into his caress so easily that it gave him hope and strength beyond measure. Never before had he felt so relieved and so happy.

“Leave us. All of you,” Thorin command, his voice filled with strength. Everyone filed out of the tent and left him alone with Bilbo. His hobbit’s eyes were full of tears and sadness was etched in his face.

“T-Thorin… You’re badly injured…” So that was why Bilbo was almost n tears. Thorin smiled and chuckled despite himself.

“Silly hobbit… I am nowhere close to death. Not anymore, and mostly thanks to Fili and Kili…” His voice trailed off as he thought of them. Bilbo shifted closer to him and Thorin could feel his body heat.

“I heard about Fili and Kili. I’m so sorry… If only I could do something…” Thorin stroked his cheek.

“You being alive and well is enough for us all, Bilbo. I am sure that Balin will tell them that you are alive and well,” Thorin reassured him. Bilbo’s eyes lit up at that and they sat there in silence, grinning at each other like fools.

“Bilbo…”

“Thorin…” They both chuckled before Bilbo continued. “You first, your Majesty.” Drawing a deep breath, Thorin decided that it was now or never. 

“Bilbo, I must tell you something that I have kept hidden for quite some time now.” Thorin paused briefly, gathering his courage before he continued. “I…I am in love with you, my precious hobbit.” The smile that broke out across Bilbo’s face was bright enough to outshine the sun.

“Oh, thank heavens,” Bilbo breathed out and tears began to fall from his eyes. Thorin sat up, wincing at the strain such a maneuver put on his wounds, and pulled Bilbo close to him.

“Bilbo?” Bilbo’s smile didn’t waver and he pressed himself closer to the dwarf king.

“I…I’m sorry. I’m just so…so happy that you…that you love me. Me! Even though I’m only a hobbit and not worthy…” 

“You are more than worthy, Bilbo Baggins,” Thorin told him sternly. “You have saved my life and my companions life numerous times. You have shown bravery and loyalty beyond measure. You are…the most beautiful creature I have ever met. More so than any elf I have laid eyes upon. And there can be nobody else for me but you.” 

Before Bilbo could reply, Thorin pressed their lips together in a soft, warm kiss. Bilbo’s lips were everything he had dreamed about and more; they were soft, warm, delicious, and innocent. A soft moan escaped his hobbit as they kissed and Thorin pulled Bilbo closer, deepening the kiss. His tongue caressed Bilbo’s bottom lip, asking for entrance. It was granted and Thorin explored the delicious cavern that was his hobbit’s sweet, little mouth.

Bilbo wrapped his arms around Thorin’s next as they kissed and straddled him, careful and conscientious of his wounds. Not that Thorin minded the pain. It was all worth it in the end. Unfortunately, the need for air made them break apart all too soon, but that didn’t stop Thorin from pressing kisses to his love’s flawless skin, free of any facial hair or blemish. Soft moans escaped Bilbo’s mouth and his body shuddered and shivered. Each sound and movement went straight to Thorin’s manhood and he wanted nothing more than to make love to his hobbit all night long. But he knew that he wouldn’t be able to do so, not yet at least. However, that made the wait all the more worth it. 

“I love you so much, Bilbo Baggins,” Thorin whispered into his ear before kissing it. Bilbo jerked and sighed softly, his eyes fluttering shut.

“I…I love you as well, Thorin Oakenshield…my king.” At that, Thorin smiled and looked into his hobbit’s beautiful eyes.

“Am I your king, Bilbo?” Bilbo smiled at him and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

“Yes, you’re my king, Thorin. You have been for a long time.” 

They kissed a few times before exhaustion overwhelmed both Thorin and Bilbo. Laying back down, Thorin pulled Bilbo as close to him as possible. The hobbit was very careful not to aggravate his wounds when he snuggled up against him. It was only now, on the brink of sleep, that Thorin noticed the constant throbbing pain that had plagued him before he saw Bilbo enter the tent. 

They fell asleep nonetheless and were found that way when Gandalf and the healers returned to the tent. As he slept, Thorin dreamed. He dreamed of what life might be like now that Smaug was dead and Erebor had been reclaimed. He dreamed of Fili and Kili alive and well and laughing and carrying on like they usually did. He dreamed of his Company who had answered when he had called upon them and who had given everything for him and their lost home. But most of all, he dreamed of his hobbit, Bilbo, and how happy he was that they were together and that nothing could tear them apart. 

...

And I can’t live without you now  
Oh, oh  
I can’t even live with myself  
Oh, oh  
I can’t live without you now  
Oh, oh  
And I don’t want nobody else  
‘Cause I can’t live without you now  
Oh, oh  
I can’t even live with myself  
Oh, oh  
And I can’t live without you now  
Oh, oh  
‘Cause I don’t want nobody else, nobody else, nobody else  
I can’t live without you  
Oh, oh


End file.
